wow ok i haven't updated this one is a while and a lot has happened. you know that boy i was talking about the one that held me in his arms that i knew i liked but he didn't like me back cuz he was dating my friend who didn't tell me about it. well...I'm dating him now and i'm so happy because a bonus is mom and dad know and are ok with me dating how great is that? and now that i have my car i get to see him a lot more. he lives near the school so that's great and we used to have class together but now that schools out i just head over to his house. he's only a few minutes away. I'm so happy with him. When i'm really upset he cheers me up and even before we started dating i would think of going to him for comfort because that's who he is he's my go to guy. the one i can always count on to be there for me and that makes me soo happy. I'm am like way beyond cloud nine right now with him. my life would be so perfect i jsut need one more thing. to be accepted into my school of choice. then i would be soo happy i'd be in space. but for right now i'm really happy. I'm going to see him tommorow after i run a few errands and then i get to spend all day with him and his family. did i mention his family likes me also..always a big plus.

Lately I guess I've been feeling kinda lonely I guess would be the word. My friends have left and I hardly talk to them...well the ones that are seniors...my friend christina might be moving. My three guy friends....well most likely after this year wont talk to me...billy bob will I know...when I talked to him about it before he told me he would...I hope he does.

I've been thinking of my future a lot lately like which collage I wanna go to...What I'm going to do after I become a doctor. If I'll ever get married to someone I love....Sometimes times like just now when I'm stitting alone contemplating it I imagine my life....I'll come home one day tired from work. I'll hear footsteps down that hall and brace myself before my children meet me giving me hello kisses before leaving to do what they normally do...my husbend will soon follow and give me a kiss welcoming me home and we talk about our days. My children will then come down for dinner and we'll all eat at my kids tell me about the day they had and moan and groan about homework and teachers...sometimes I'll wish I could fast forward time to the moment I have a small baby in my arms. Watch as he/she looks at me curiously as I feed them a bottle or laugh as I tickle them...lately I've been wondering if I'll ever have that.

my luck hasn't been so lucky when it comes to boys....lets recount the last three shall we...the first two the realationship lasted a max of two weeks. The first one broke mutually we were both only friends...the second one favored his job more than me and his dreams more than me....it was hard....one day after the break up my friends wanted to cheer me up so we went to my friends house...we were all tired so we crashed in thier room...one of my friends had his arms around me and I felt so comfertable so content that I never wanted to leave or wake up...but I had to...i realized that day how much that person ment to me...apparently everyone could see it before I could. I kept it to myself as much as I could...I suppose I flirted...I dunno...but he like the last guy liked one of my friends better than me...so I guess I'll just wait...two guys i know like me but I don't like them like that. so I'll wait and see what lady fate has in store for this one...should be and interesting wait no?